Allen and the Gingerbread Man
by ariathal2410
Summary: Allen was traumatized in his childhood, and it comes back to haunt him. You will never look at Gingerbread the same. Crack-fic, ONESHOT


_**Warnings:**_ bits of OOC, CRACK

 _ **Disclaimer:** I don't own D. Gray-Man_

"Speech"

 _Flashback_

* * *

Link was woken by a soft whimpering coming from beside him. He sighed as he sat up and watched Allen toss and turn in his sleep. This had been going on for a weeks now, ever since December started. As Christmas neared, Allen had started having strange nightmares which had woken them both at ridiculous hours of the morning. And all Link knew about them was that it had something to do with gingerbread men. He watched silently as Allen suddenly jolted up in bed screaming the usual -

"The gingerbread man's going to eat me!" Honestly, the first time it had happened Link had almost laughed, as uncharacteristic as it might sound. The second was still amusing but a little annoying, and every time after that it got more tedious and inconvenient.

Link sighed as Allen flopped back down and tried to calm his breathing. He stood up and moved to Allen's bed, sitting down next to him and staring in that way that silently demanded an explanation. Allen stared back, seemingly unwilling to say anything. At first Link was going to leave it alone. But it had been going on for far too long now, and it was starting to affect their work. So he decided that enough was enough, he was going to deal with it before it became a major problem.

"What's going on, Walker?" Link asked quietly, though they both knew it wasn't as much of a question as it was a near order. It was Allen's turn to sigh as he looked away from Link and stared at the window, looking incredibly uncomfortable. Allen sighed again, knowing that Link wasn't leaving anytime soon, and sat up to begin his explanation. But not before a grumbled "you better not laugh" at which Link merely raised a single eyebrow. Allen huffed, grimacing as he began his tale.

"It happened a few years ago, I was travelling with Cross and it was getting close to Christmas..."

 _A young Allen was hard at work at a local mine. He had been doing a lot of overtime lately because of Cross' outrageous debts. One of the workers had a wife who frequently visited, and had become worried about Allen's condition. He had brushed off her concern easily enough, but not before she had insisted on giving him some fresh, home-made gingerbread men._

 _Allen had been delighted, he had never been given anything before except debts. Mana had been too poor to buy him anything, Cross was a bastard and before that he was on the streets. He had tried to politely decline the offer anyway, it would be rude to accept since he didn't have anything to offer in return, but the woman insisted and she started to look really scary (Matron paled in comparison). So Allen took the cookies with a large grin, thanked her and went on his merry way. He later regretted that decision..._

 _Allen crept through the door, poked his head around the corner and listened intently. He couldn't hear any talking or anything indecent happening, so he shrugged and fully entered the "small" house he and Cross had been living in for the past month or so. He went straight into the kitchen, putting his package on the bench before opening it and starting to delightedly munch on one of the cookies inside. Cross entered moments later, a wine-glass in hand, and questioned his present immediately. Allen quickly pulled it closer to defend it from Cross and explained it had been a gift. Cross snorted lightly and expertly snagged one of the cookies before munching on it. Allen pouted slightly before he heard Cross mutter something that made him grin._

 _"Consider it my Christmas gift." Allen swung his legs happily as he continued to devour his cookies, before deciding to leave some for the next day. He spent some time practising his cards before dinner and then finally retired to bed. He snuggled up tightly in the blankets and drifted off to sleep... only to be woken up soon after to sounds coming from the kitchen. He ignores it, thinking it's just Cross getting a snack or more wine and goes back to sleep. But he soon gets woken up again, this time to the sound of his door slowly creaking open. He sits up, fully prepared to scold Cross, but freezes when he sees what's behind the door. A human-sized gingerbread man floats in the doorway, it's face covered in shadows. Slowly it floats into the room and starts speaking._

 _"How dare you... my brothers..." Its starts in an eerie tone, sending chills up and down Allen's spine._

 _"How dare you eat my poor innocent brothers..." It continues getting a little louder and angrier, Allen now lightly shaking in fear._

 _"As punishment..." It raises its head and grins widely, Allen freezing in response._

 _"I'll eat_ _ **you**_ _!" The gingerbread man yelled as it lunged towards him. Allen screeched and dived under it, bolting out the door and running through the hall's screaming in terror. He made it to his Master's room, still screaming, just as Cross slammed the door open in anger. He opened his mouth to demand an explanation when the gingerbread man came down the hallway after Allen, still going on about its brother's and eating Allen. Cross let out a manly shriek, picked Allen up and ran._

"It chased us for hours before we finally got away..." Allen finished solemnly, still grimacing.

"Now, every Christmas, I get nightmares about it trying to eat me. Cross can't stand the sight of gingerbread men anymore, either, he destroys them as soon as he sees them." Allen explained and Link didn't know whether he should feel horrified or incredibly amused. He settled for a bit of both, though he kept his face schooled into a mask of indifference, only a small amount of emotion settling in his eyes. But Allen had been with him long enough that he could easily read Links moods, and apparently he didn't appreciate Link's mirth.

"It's not funny, Link! Do you have any idea how terrifying it is to have a giant gingerbread man trying to eat you?!" Allen screeched indignantly, while Link continued to look impassive. Allen huffed at him before getting up and doing his morning exercise. Link shifted to get into a more comfortable position to wait.

"I suppose we should inform Jerry of General Cross' aversion to gingerbread men." Link observed mildly. Allen paused, thinking, before muttering an agreement.

"Yeah, we don't need Cross shooting up the cafeteria and getting Jerry angry." He shuddered a little at the thought of an angry Jerry, even Link grimaced a bit. By the time Allen finished his workout, it was a reasonable hour to go to the cafeteria and get breakfast. Allen trudged along tiredly, occasionally letting out a yawn, while Link quietly followed.

They made it to the cafeteria without incident, although Allen wasn't too pleased when they got there. There was Christmas food everywhere, and while the sight of lots of food would usually incite happiness in Allen, Christmas food meant gingerbread men. He paled slightly as he saw the dreaded cookies scattered on a few tables around the cafeteria, shuddering a little as he edged around them and continued in. He grabbed a nearby trolley and started stacking it with food, meticulously avoiding any gingerbread, while Link did the same. They quickly told Jerry about the gingerbread men before shuffling over to a table with Lenalee, Lavi and Kanda.

"Good morning, Allen!" Lenalee greeted happily, Allen returning the greeting. Kanda just grunted acknowledgement.

"Mornin', Beansprout!" Lavi called cheerfully, Allen sighed and greeted him as well before sitting at the table and beginning his meal.

"Hey Al, why were you avoiding all the gingerbread? Link too?" Lavi asked curiously. Allen grimaced and, after some gentle prodding from Link, conceded and told his tale once again. Lenalee looked a little terrified, Kanda looked mildly disturbed through his usual stoic demeanour and Lavi laughed outright, earning himself a pie in the face which sent him to the floor. After breakfast they talked for awhile, Lavi still teasing Allen, before getting up to leave. Allen was halfway through standing when he looked up and froze, his face paling dramatically.

"Allen/Beansprout/Walker?" They all questioned before following his eyes, only to see a human sized gingerbread man floating outside the window. Lavi choked on air, Lenalee screamed and both Kanda and Link made startled noises. The Gingerbread Man grinned eerily before entering through an open window.

"For eating my precious brothers..." It started, still grinning creepily and effectively attracting everyone's attention.

"I'll eat all of _you_!" It finished and the cafeteria burst into a cacophony of hysteria. Cross arrived soon after, letting out another manly shriek and started herding people out of the cafeteria while trying to get to Allen. The cafeteria emptied quickly, leaving only the exorcists, Link, Jerry and a few other people willing to fight a creepy gingerbread man armed with miscellaneous cooking equipment. That was when Allen's eye activated.

"A-ku-ma...?" Allen breathed out in shock as he focused on the being in front of him, a soul bound to the creepy gingerbread man.

"Eh...?" Was the overall response. Allen lowered his head, his bangs covering his eyes in shadow, as a dark aura surrounded him. Demon horns soon sprouted and he started chuckling darkly. Several people backed away, Lavi muttering that "Dark Allen" was coming out. Not too far away, Cross had a murderous aura similar to Allen, except even more terrifying.

They both activated their respective Innocence and pointed it at the Akuma, who had broken out in a cold sweat and was now shivering violently in fear. Master and Student both grinned maliciously as the Akuma began backing away slowly. The Gingerbread Akuma quickly turned tail and fled out the window it had come from, both Exorcists chasing after it.

" _ **Get back here!**_ " They both roared and all anyone heard after they disappeared through the window was crashing, banging, slashing and horrified screaming. Everyone flinched and shivered, even Kanda and Link. Both Exorcists came back shortly after, looking satisfied, and left the cafeteria. Nobody spoke of the incident afterwards. Until the next year, when Jerry decided it would be fine to serve gingerbread men again. The Order was left in chaos that year as the two went on a rampage destroying every single piece of gingerbread they could find. The story became legend after that, an ironclad rule setting in that the Black Order was _never_ to have gingerbread men _ever_ again. The Millennium Earl cackled from his seat in the Ark.

* * *

 **AN:** I was gonna post this on Christmas day but meh. Yay for crazy-ass ideas that come out of nowhere! Thoughts, feedback?

 **END**


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